Here I Am Again At The Public Library.....

Here I Am Again At The Public Library.....it is Sunday, and I did go to Mass with Mom but I did not go to the Lambda Meeting.....will go next Sunday so that I can be on a good footing with Nita, who I believe is well meaning but boy, do I miss Catherine and how she just let me coast.  Nita is not going to do that I don't think.....Catherine was great as she did the rock bottom minimum and that very much worked for me.  I have to say that I really wish that these pills could just be prescribed by primary care doctors as they used to be in the old days but those days are gone now it seems.  Talk about annoying!!! But I do what it is that I have to do, what else can I say?

I had a hard time returning from Yuma and really did not want to but it seems as if we are going down again on November 1st and I am very much looking forward to this.  It will be good to get out of town and I also look forward to visiting the Territorial Prison Park in Yuma.....that does sound interesting and apparently we will indeed have the time.  And at least I have something to look forward to now and I do appreciate this, yes indeed I do.

This morning Baldo drove by me, no wave, no stop, no horn, no nothing.  Today is September 29th.....according to Fermin, Baldo is leaving at the end of this month, which would be tomorrow.  I will be happy to see him and Matilda way way way over on the West Side, far away from the neighborhood and out of the stream of consciousness so that they forget us with due time.  It's sad how things worked out but he became too overbearing and gave himself rights he did not have.  I don't appreciate his taking our peaches without asking and then lying about it, and I don't appreciate the day he came over, freaking out about being bumped from the project, telling lies to my Mother in regards to what he was saying to Abraham's crew.  I also don't care for how he insisted on knowing who sent the crew over - we signed nothing and gave him no exclusive as to renovating our property.  He really went too far.  I also don't care for how he treated me by knocking on my door and judging me for my room and for the condition of the house, and I really resent how he treated me and got into the middle of my Mother and I's business.  He just went too far and what really pushed me over the edge was the day he lied about bonding with his daughter and then I caught him working on a house down the street with Matilda and one of the kids.  He just went too far and is too much of an opportunist and a bit of a user, as is Matilda - witness Mom giving her $200 and not receiving a penny of this money back.  It is for the best that they are moving on, and from what I understand, Alfonso's married son will be moving into the newly vacant apartment - GREAT!  He is someone that we have no issues with nor are we likely to have issues with.  And tomorrow is the last day of September so if what Fermin is saying is true, Baldo and Matilda will very soon be gone and way way way out on the far West Side.  Loving it!!! At least something worked out in my train wreck of a life.

Today I went to PAB and bought two DVD's - it is amazing to me how cheap porno dvd's have become these days - thank the Internet for that.  I was being rung up by the owner I believe and I pointed to the cover of one of the DVD's showing the deceased Eric Rhodes, dead of steroid abuse it seems like at a very young age.  What the owner said depressed me.  He'd be willing to go through 8 years of hell to be pretty like one of the models on the Kristen Bjorn DVD I also bought.  I find this so shallow and depressing and it just serves to show me that the gay world is yet another place that I am not going to fit into.  Like I didn't already know that, true, but here it was up close and personal right in my face.  At least knowing what I know about myself and the world and my place in the world today, I don't feel the slightest bit bad about this today.  And that is progress right there, the acceptance that essentially I am my own person and trudge my own damned road.

Just looked at the weather and it seems that Summer is over.....though it's not exactly pleasant yet, no more day in the triple digits and nights in the 80's - instead we are looking at a couple of days in the 80's and nights in the 60's - THANK GOD!  This year's monsoon was truly pathetic and I can say that I am not shedding any tears to see Summer in my rear view mirror.  Not at all.

I really did like the EconoLodge in Yuma, I really did.  Though the room did have some issues, it is cheap and essentially clean with a full size fridge and a microwave and comfortable beds.  And it's nice too that being 86'ed from the Torch Lite Lodge is essentially no big deal at all as similar lodging both in price and class abounds in the general area.  There was a Knight's Inn nearby along with a place called the Hacienda Motel across the street and a place called the El Rancho Motel down the street before the corner of 24th/4th.  So - no great loss.  And something else interesting.....it funky to walk around that general area seeing their sign and feeling absolutely nothing.  I only wish I'd known of these alternatives sooner is all I can say.  And our last morning in Yuma?  I wanted to eat at an actual restaurant and none were open other than that greasy spoon Mom and I ate at back in 2013 or so called Bubba's - right next door to the Torch Lite Lodge. So we ate there.  This was no childish middle finger salute but a visit to the only nearby open restaurant, which was non-problematic and for this I am grateful.  And it's no big deal about being persona non grata at the Hacienda Algodones - other options exist in Algodones, too.  Next time around I shall try my luck at the Hotel Central and see how that works for me.  At least their check out time is 12PM which gives me time to get up in the morning and to get some shopping done before I leave town, which is a good thing I believe.   I just checked some reviews online for the Hotel Central and it seems like it will be a pleasant place to stay for just one night.  And perhaps later on I can stay there for longer and just veg.....that would be nice, it very much would be, yes indeed.

I think what would be wise now would be to make a push to get as much done with the house as I can before we take off for Yuma again.  That would make Mom happy and it would mean upon my return less to deal with.  And something else?  It looks as if we are going to be losing Fermin as a tenant soon - he needs a bigger space with his girlfriend and their baby, coming in January I believe.  This is good in a way as it means that I can use the back unit for storage once more and can get rid of a bunch of stuff and not have to deal with Mom's attitude about my thing which always drives me fucking nuts.  Truly it always does.  Very much so.

Tomorrow I have Monday morning Mass and then money counting, which will probably take longer tomorrow as there was a second collection and there were more people in church today, probably due to the nicer weather.  After Mass I will be heading on over to the Comprehensive Health Care Center to find out the results of my ultrasound as I seem to keep playing phone tag with the nurse and if there needs to be a procedure, I'd really like to know what needs to be done and exactly how serious it is.  So that's up tomorrow and with any luck it will be an outpatient type of surgery.  I sure am not thrilled about the idea of checking into the hospital again, that's for sure.  Speaking of which, I believe that while I was in Yuma, I saw the Yuma Regional Medical Center in the distance.   Creepy.  I still remember passing through that place and I still have the Tijuana T Shirt that they gave me as my shirt I was wearing that day apparently was somehow destroyed.  I am so glad I made it through that experience in one piece and that the worst that could have happened did not take place!  Scary stuff.

Here's something nice - I took in my recycling yesterday down the street to that blue house where they do recycling.  They are still open and it is still eighty cents a pound for aluminum and thirty cents a pound for plastic - who knows where the plastic is going after China pulled it's fit in 2018 but that's not really my problem, is it?  It's nice that I can still get rid of it and get some money for it is all I can say.  Who knows with recycling being as it is these days how long such will continue?  I would not be surprised to see what they pay for plastic to go down or for plastic to be discontinued period.  Such would not surprise me one iota.  I am also looking forward to getting rid of more recyclables at hone and making what little money I can for them.

At any rate, here I am back in the Valley for another month, let me get done whatever it is that I can get done before we take off for Yuma.  And it will be interesting this month to see if Fermin indeed pays rent or if he has any information for us as to whether this is his last month or not.  I see a woman with a nice newer looking SUV parked in our driveway and if this is his girlfriend, his days behind our house are indeed numbered.  After he takes off, I don't think we will rent the place out anymore.  I can use it for storage and to get things out of the house to shut Mom up and to get her off my ass.  It would also be a great place to store items for yard sales, out of sight and out of Mom's mind.  So we shall see. 

PS Came back to add that it will be interesting to see if Navy Federal Credit Union deposits my money from TD Ameritrade this week into my new Traditional IRA with them.  This money has increased with the stock market gains of late and I'm seriously happy with my gains and ready to stash this money somewhere safe like Navy Federal Credit Union.  This money to me is such a relic of a time gone by - a time in which background checks did not dodge my every step and I could still find a job with benefits such as a 401(K) plan into which I could defer money.  Good luck finding that these days!  Not going to happen from what I can see.  Rob